Reuniting With the Father

Like many people, I did not grow up with a dedicated father in my life. In my younger years I would get bits and pieces of what my father was like from other people, but I longed to know my father for myself. I wanted to know who I came from. I felt like a part of my identity was linked to knowing who he was. By the age of 26, after years of looking, I was able to finally connect with my biological father.

When I reunited with him, the first thing I looked for was the physical resemblance, we shared common features and I noticed there where even certain mannerisms and quirks. As I started to learn more about him, I learned his traits, strengths and more and more about his characteristics. As time went by, I realized what the child in me longed to receive in my earthly father, I would not receive. Inevitably, time had passed, and our hearts, desires and priorities were positioned differently. It was unrealistic for me to set high expectations of an ideal father daughter relationship, and I had to accept the reality of the nature of the relationship. In doing this , I grieved the loss of time and connection, forgave my father and made peace of the situation. Doing the above, released me from feelings of rejection and any other emotion or thought associated with rejection. Healing my father wounds was difficult but necessary for my growth as a woman, mother and wife.

In hindsight, years prior when I was a teenager, I heard a word in a church service and that word was “ God is the Father to the Fatherless” I took the word given and held it in my heart, It stuck with me.

Today, I am able to look back as see what I really was looking for. While it was natural be curious about an estranged parent, I would not find my true identity there. What I was seeking was my True identity in Christ and what God made me to be. My earthly father was just a vessel. Along the way, there were times I fell into the traps of thinking, these thoughts where conspired to create confusion by the enemy and what statistics and society planted in my mind, some of these traps caused me to adapt to what society declared what my fate would be. Some examples are what fatherlessness results in, such as:
1. Struggles in intimate relationships
2. Experiencing emotional challenges
3. Experimenting with drugs and alcohol at a young age
4. Engaging in promiscuous behavior seeking attachments in relationships

Reuniting with my Heavenly Father

As I hung on to the word, God is the Father to the Fatherless, I believed had a heavenly father, and embraced my relationship with Him. I began to learn about who God was, seeking him, learning about the things of God and what He says about me not what others or society says . I learned about the characteristics of Jesus, principles of forgiveness, grace, mercy and patience, spending time with the Father, I began to receive understanding, healing and revelation about my parental situation and how to manage all relationships throughout my life in a healthy way. Some revelations I received were:

1. God would not keep any good thing from you, their is protection in rejection. Pslams 84:11
2. You can rest in the arms of your heavenly father through prayer and worship
3. Your Father may have a father wound and need prayer for healing
4. You have everything you need to be successful
5. Heal your inner child
6. Seek therapy
7. Its ok to pray for God to send you spiritual fathers, role models and mentors into your life
8. Pray for healing in your heart so that you can receive love from others and foster strong and healthy relationships Galatians 5 22-23

Today, I can look back and see how not having esposure to the word of God or trained in my identity causes deception. However, the Father shows up and is a protector, teacher, loving, kind and merciful. Lately, despite it being a long road. I have desire for spending time with my Father, as He tells be who I am, my strengths, gifts, talents and daily walk. I will no longer be labeled, looking for validation from man or parent, each day I become more secure and learn about the characteristics of Christ as I aspire to take on His attributes, I am secure in who may maker who has the final say -Jeremiah 1:5.